418 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Audio – Page 6

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51 Oh, what angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks?

John Goodman as Layton T. Montgomery in Bee Movie

52 I've got a waiting list of 50 people at that cemetery just dying to get in. But I like you and I'm gonna shove you in ahead of all of them. I'm gonna see that you get a steady position. And if I can arrange it, it'll be horizontal.

Groucho Marx as Mr. Hammer in The Cocoanuts (1929)

53 No mounds of flowers spread over my grave? Where are the tasteless statues, the monumental memorials to my memory?

Jim Cummings as Darkwing Duck in Darkwing Duck (1991)

54 Liquidation of assets. Which is hardly a crime. -I'll wait until I can put you on trial for murder.

Cornel Wilde as Leonard Diamond; Richard Conte as Mr. Brown in The Big Combo (1955)

55 See that? He's dead. Dead. Another dead one. Deady. Deadified. Two more dead. Dead from the neck up, dead from the neck down. But that's life.

Quote from Bee Movie

56 I didn't push him. He jumped. And anyway, he had an umbrella. Is it my fault if he forgot to open it?

Quote from The Fortune Cookie (1966)

57 Goodbye. Have a wonderful trip. Ha ha ha ha! You vicious vermin.

Ken Sansom as Rabbit in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

58 I come into this world with pink cheeks, and a healthy pair of lungs, and a lot of big ideas. How am I going out of it? A bald head, blue tongue, and a saucer of warm milk with a pill in it.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden in The Honeymooners (1955)

59 In Italy, for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance.

Orson Welles as Harry Lime in The Third Man (1949)

60 If I were my father, I'd have you tortured.

Claudia Cardinale as Princess Dala in The Pink Panther (1963)