291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 7

Updated: Sep 11, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

61 May I ask your name? -No, you may not ask my name unless you want to wind up dead!

Quote from Yoga and the Kung Fu Girl (1979)

62 You know, maybe you should just hang the carpenter. -What?

Quote from Unforgiven

63 I seen Claudia, too. -That's good, Will. That's good you saw Claudia, ain't it? -Her face was all covered with worms.

Quote from Unforgiven

64 Unless she sacrifices herself, the volcano will surely destroy us all. -You mean, it appeases the gods or something? -No, it plugs up the hole.

Quote from Garfield in Paradise

65 I've got a waiting list of 50 people at that cemetery just dying to get in. But I like you and I'm gonna shove you in ahead of all of them. I'm gonna see that you get a steady position. And if I can arrange it, it'll be horizontal.

Groucho Marx as Mr. Hammer in The Cocoanuts (1929)

66 Do you know what kind of a bomb it was? -The exploding kind.

Peter Sellers as Inspector Jacques Clouseau in The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976)

67 There should be no crater. -No crater? But I want a crater. I want wreckage, twisted metal. Something the world will not forget.

Herbert Lom as Former Chief Inspector Charles Dreyfus in The Pink Panther Strikes Again (1976)

68 Liquidation of assets. Which is hardly a crime. -I'll wait until I can put you on trial for murder.

Quote from The Big Combo (1955)

69 You would not find me suitable. Because my first official act would be to have you all crucified.

Quote from The Fall of the Roman Empire (1964)

70 Sounds like someone's sick. How lovely. I do hope it's serious. Something dreadful.

Madam Mim in The Sword in the Stone (1963)