337 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 8

Updated: Jan 15, 2026

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

71 You would not find me suitable. Because my first official act would be to have you all crucified.

Alec Guinness as Marcus Aurelius in The Fall of the Roman Empire (1964)

72 Sounds like someone's sick. How lovely. I do hope it's serious. Something dreadful.

Martha Wentworth as Madam Mim in The Sword in the Stone (1963)

73 Heh, look at them, lieutenant. Everybody is a clown. How do you expect to win the war mit an army of clowns? -We sort of hope you'll laugh yourselves to death.

Don Taylor as James Dunbar in Stalag 17 (1953)

74 Let's get out of this stinking weather before we're statistics.

Gilbert Gottfried as Berkeley Beetle in Thumbelina (1994)

75 Ryan, some things in here don't react well to bullets. Yeah. Like me. I don't react well to bullets.

Alec Baldwin as Jack Ryan in The Hunt for Red October

76 Ha! Prepare a eulogy. That song has just been murdered.

Deanna Oliver as The Brave Little Toaster in The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars

77 Remember the squirrels? -Don't even say it. -First I knocked them out of their nest with a rock. Then I saved them.

Sandra Bullock as Lucy Eleanor Moderatz in While You Were Sleeping (1995)

78 Every day begins with misery, breakfast in a rusty cup, then we all get good and miserable and then we all throw up

Martin Short as Hubie The Penguin in The Pebble and the Penguin

79 But Satan rules the universe. I made a pact with him.

Vincent Price as Prince Prospero in The Masque of the Red Death

80 Yeah, it's a pretty nice place. Better than a lot of graveyards I've hung out in.

Kimberly J. Brown as Marnie Piper in Halloweentown

337 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 8

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