418 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Audio – Page 8

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71 Oh, what angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison from my heaving buttocks?

John Goodman as Layton T. Montgomery in Bee Movie

72 Yes, for the moment, I'm not dying. Thank you.

Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark Iron Man in Iron Man 2

73 Well, he won't get very far, that's for sure. He hasn't got enough blood left in him to keep a chicken alive.

Quote from The Asphalt Jungle (1950)

74 Say, how much you think my pelvis is worth? -By itself, nothing, so it's a good thing you came to me.

Walter Matthau as Whiplash Willie Gingrich in The Fortune Cookie (1966)

75 I'm afraid my memory's very bad for live faces.

Anjanette Comer as Aimée Thanatogenos in The Loved One (1965)

76 So, what does your husband do? -Nothing. -Nothing? -Well, he just lies around on his back all day. -Sounds like hard work to me.

Lesley Ann Warren as Miss Scarlet; Madeline Kahn as Mrs. White in Clue (1985)

77 You should come around here on Halloween. You'd really see something then. -Oh, yeah? -Yeah, we all jump off the roof and fly. We kill our husbands too.

Sandra Bullock as Sally Owens in Practical Magic (1998)

78 The common cold goes away in three to five days. Death is a little more permanent.

Quote from Darkwing Duck (1991)

79 I wouldn't be afraid of death if I was you. I'd be more afraid of driving in rush-hour traffic.

Jessica Tandy as Ninny Threadgoode in Fried Green Tomatoes (1991)

80 Well, the sun's gone out. First thing to happen when a sky falls.

Peter Cullen as Eeyore in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh