418 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Audio – Page 9

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81 Well, he won't get very far, that's for sure. He hasn't got enough blood left in him to keep a chicken alive.

Quote from The Asphalt Jungle (1950)

82 What's wrong? -Well, it just feels so weird. -You mean, that Mr. Arrow's dead? -Yeah, that, and my pants are filled with starfish.

Steve Whitmire as Rizzo The Rat; The Great Gonzo in Muppet Treasure Island

83 Liquidation of assets. Which is hardly a crime. -I'll wait until I can put you on trial for murder.

Cornel Wilde as Leonard Diamond; Richard Conte as Mr. Brown in The Big Combo (1955)

84 Sounds like someone's sick. How lovely. I do hope it's serious. Something dreadful.

Martha Wentworth as Madam Mim in The Sword in the Stone (1963)

85 I'm afraid my memory's very bad for live faces.

Anjanette Comer as Aimée Thanatogenos in The Loved One (1965)

86 Then the big, mean giant gobbled up the whole village, and lived happily ever after. The end.

John Fiedler as Piglet in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

87 I didn't push him. He jumped. And anyway, he had an umbrella. Is it my fault if he forgot to open it?

Quote from The Fortune Cookie (1966)

88 Have you any idea how much damage this bulldozer would suffer if I were to let it roll straight over you? -How much? -None at all.

Quote from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

89 Who calls him on the phone? -If you're a good swimmer, you can ask the guy who found out. He's at the bottom of the river.

Zero Mostel as Big Babe Lazick in The Enforcer (1951)

90 Welcome... to being dead. -What? You mean I'm... I'm... -Stone cold, I'm afraid.

Quote from All Dogs Go to Heaven (1989)