291 Dark Humor Quotes from Movies with Sound Clips - page 9

Updated: Sep 11, 2025

A selection of dark humor quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

81 I always think everything could be a trap, which is why I'm still alive.

Chris Sarandon as Prince Humperdinck in The Princess Bride (1987)

82 An Ode to Spring. How do you Spell massacre? -Uh. M-A-S-S-A-C-R-E. A...C... -R-E. Thank you.

Margot Kidder as Lois Lane in Superman (1978)

83 Love me... and leave me. That's the story of my life. But it won't happen again, see, since I bought a butcher's knife.

Dashiki in Don't Be a Menace

84 And two, how exactly are you going to snap your fingers after I rip off both of your thumbs?

Arnold Schwarzenegger as Jack Slater in Last Action Hero

85 Well, I'd love to stay and watch the fun, but I have to go and establish my alibi. Arrivederci.

Anthony Quinn as Tony Vivaldi in Last Action Hero

86 However, look, we can offer you a special new service, whereby the remains are placed inside a rocket, and fired into space.

Robert Morse as Dennis Barlow in The Loved One (1965)

87 Care for a muffin? -No. -I baked them for the folks at the shelter. Didn't occur to me they couldn't eat them. No heads!

Quote from Halloweentown

88 Remember that bastard who tried to molest you? I was angry, and I killed him.

Quote from Ninja vs. Shaolin Guards (1984)

89 So, what kind of agony do you have in store for me?

Peter Cullen as Eeyore in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

90 I don't eat cats. It's too much fur.

Billy Joel as Dodger in Oliver & Company (1988)