197 Funny Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips)

Updated: Feb 12, 2026

A selection of funny quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

1 My father's too distracted by his bald spot to do anything.

Tom Kenny as SpongeBob SquarePants in The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie (2004)

2 What you doing? This supposed to be a children's show. This remind me of Chinese snuff film I once co-star in.

Eddie Murphy as Hangten Wong in Norbit

3 Well, you know, you've been eating so much lately there's a very strong possibility that... The car is shrinking.

Eddie Murphy as Norbit in Norbit

4 This is America. We have free speech. You can say cat here. Cat, cat, cat! And double cat!

Phillip Glasser as Fievel Mousekewitz in An American Tail

5 Well, it's not just me. There's the gargoyles and, of course, the bells.

Tom Hulce as Quasimodo in The Hunchback of Notre Dame

6 Oh, my, we've fallen into a deep, dark pit. -So? -Don't you remember, Papa dear? You're allergic to deep, dark pits. -Oh, yeah. Achoo!

Jim Cummings as Winnie The Pooh in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

7 Where is your nest, Taylor? Where are your women?

Charlton Heston as George Taylor in Planet of the Apes (1968)

8 You have been a good boy. Have a lollipop.

Scott Adsit as Baymax in Big Hero 6

9 Diagnosis: puberty.

Scott Adsit as Baymax in Big Hero 6

10 He wounded me and pushed me over a cliff. And then he took over my wife.

Polly Ling-Feng Shang-Kuan as Tse Pei-Pei in 18 Jade Arhats (1978)