29 Funny Quotes About Cooking from Movies (+ Audio Clips)

Updated: Oct 17, 2025

A collection of funny quotes about cooking from movies, complete with audio samples in mp3 & wav formats — great for ringtones or laughs.

1 Chocolate moose? I didn't even know they were in season.

Charles Fleischer as Roger Rabbit in Roger Rabbit Shorts

2 Come here. The secret ingredient is nothing. You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient!

Jack Black as Po in Kung Fu Panda

3 This is war, Peacock. Casualties are inevitable. You cannot make an omelet without breaking eggs. Every cook will tell you that. -But look what happened to the cook!

Martin Mull as Colonel Mustard; Eileen Brennan as Mrs. Peacock in Clue (1985)

4 I'll curse myself forever. This nasty soup we're in is largely of my own brewing.

Adam West as Batman in Batman (1966)

5 How do you divide seventeen apples among sixteen people? -Make applesauce.

Adam West as Batman; Burt Ward as Robin; Adam West as Bruce Wayne - Batman in Batman (1966)

6 Anyone can cook. -Well, yeah, anyone can. That doesn't mean that anyone should.

Brad Garrett as Auguste Gusteau; Patton Oswalt as Remy The Rat in Ratatouille

7 But this rat, he's the one behind these recipes. He's the cook. The real cook. He's been hiding under my toque. He's been controlling my actions.

Lou Romano as Alfredo Linguini in Ratatouille

8 I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.

Todd Barbee as Charlie Brown in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973)

9 This Hollandaise smells like burnt rubber.

Robin Williams as Daniel Hillard in Mrs. Doubtfire

10 Ach! You obviously have never studied the art of cuisine. -As a matter of fact, I haven't, sir. Was this Cuisine fellow a good artist?

Daws Butler as Yogi Bear in Yogi's First Christmas (1980)

29 Funny Quotes About Cooking from Movies (+ Audio Clips)

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