32 Funny Quotes About Cooking from Movies (+ Audio Clips)

Updated: Dec 18, 2025

A collection of funny quotes about cooking from movies, complete with audio samples in mp3 & wav formats — great for ringtones or laughs.

1 Chocolate moose? I didn't even know they were in season.

Charles Fleischer as Roger Rabbit in Roger Rabbit Shorts

2 Come here. The secret ingredient is nothing. You heard me. Nothing! There is no secret ingredient!

Quote from Kung Fu Panda

3 This is war, Peacock. Casualties are inevitable. You cannot make an omelet without breaking eggs. Every cook will tell you that. -But look what happened to the cook!

Martin Mull as Colonel Mustard; Eileen Brennan as Mrs. Peacock in Clue (1985)

4 Hold your applause until you've seen me do a baked potato.

Wayne Knight as Microwave in The Brave Little Toaster Goes to Mars

5 I think it might need a little more pepper. Or maybe a little less. Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

Jim Cummings as Tigger in Piglet's Big Game (2003)

6 I'll curse myself forever. This nasty soup we're in is largely of my own brewing.

Adam West as Bruce Wayne - Batman; Batman in Batman (1966)

7 How do you divide seventeen apples among sixteen people? -Make applesauce.

Burt Ward as Robin; Adam West as Bruce Wayne - Batman; Batman in Batman (1966)

8 Anyone can cook. -Well, yeah, anyone can. That doesn't mean that anyone should.

Brad Garrett as Auguste Gusteau; Patton Oswalt as Remy The Rat in Ratatouille

9 I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.

Todd Barbee as Charlie Brown in A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973)

10 This Hollandaise smells like burnt rubber.

Robin Williams as Daniel Hillard in Mrs. Doubtfire