44 Funny Quotes About Golf from Movies (+ Audio Clips)

Updated: Oct 30, 2025

A collection of funny quotes about golf from movies, complete with audio samples in mp3 & wav formats — great for ringtones or laughs.

1 Happy, the ball itself has its own energy or life force, if you will. Its natural environment is in the hole. So why don't you send him home?

Kevin Nealon in Happy Gilmore

2 Step right up, folks! See if you can outdrive the amazing golf ball whacker guy!

Adam Sandler as Happy Gilmore in Happy Gilmore

3 What'd you expect? Norman spends more time in the sand than David Hasselhoff.

Christopher McDonald as Shooter Mcgavin in Happy Gilmore

4 You're right. I can't learn to play golf in two days. It'd take me at least a week.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden in The Honeymooners (1955)

5 Look, the main trouble I think is you're concentrating too much on the ball. Just forget it.

Art Carney as Ed Norton in The Honeymooners (1955)

6 Good grief. Don't hit your ball in the water, ma'am. I'm a caddie, not a submarine.

Marcie From Charlie Brown in It's an Adventure, Charlie Brown

7 What are you doing in that sand trap, Marcie? -I think somebody left the door open.

Brent Hauer as Peppermint Patty; Marcie From Charlie Brown in It's an Adventure, Charlie Brown

8 Leslie, what'd you do with my gol-darn golf balls?

Macaulay Culkin as Kevin McCallister in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

9 You son of a _, ball! Why didn't you just go home? That's your home! Are you too good for your home? Answer me!

Adam Sandler as Happy Gilmore in Happy Gilmore

10 Hey, man, I hate to admit this, but this is my first trophy. Only problem is that goofy golf guy on top. Maybe the guy at the trophy store could put a little hockey guy on there.

Adam Sandler as Happy Gilmore in Happy Gilmore

44 Funny Quotes About Golf from Movies (+ Audio Clips)

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