49 Funny Quotes About Golf from Movies (+ Audio Clips) - page 2

Updated: Apr 30, 2026

A collection of funny quotes about golf from movies, complete with audio samples in mp3 & wav formats — great for ringtones or laughs.

11 What does a retiree do these days, anyway? Take naps? Play golf? Hit on rich widows?

Quote from Taken (2008)

12 Golf requires goofy pants and a fat _. You should talk to my neighbor, the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge _.

Adam Sandler as Happy Gilmore in Happy Gilmore

13 I can't believe you're a professional golfer. I think you should be working at the snack bar.

Quote from Happy Gilmore

14 There is no way that you could have been as bad at hockey as you are at golf.

Quote from Happy Gilmore

15 Don't kid me, baby. You look like you just shot six holes in a high 80s.

Frank Sinatra as Rocky Fortune in Rocky Fortune

16 I know all I need to know about playing golf. It's a game they play with 18 holes. I been working in the sewers for ten years. If that don't qualify me as an expert on holes, I give up.

Art Carney as Ed Norton in The Honeymooners (1955)

17 They say 'tally-ho' when they're fox hunting. What's crazier? Saying tally-ho to a fox, or saying hello to a golf ball?

Art Carney as Ed Norton in The Honeymooners (1955)

18 Just practicing playing golf. -Oh, is that what it is? I thought it was football, the way your backfield was in motion.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden; Art Carney as Ed Norton in The Honeymooners (1955)

19 Here, carry your own clubs. I quit. And I want a dollar for the four holes I caddied. And I don't take credit cards.

Michael Dockery as Marcie in It's an Adventure, Charlie Brown

20 Well, that's my first condition. The second is... You'll have to give up golf.

Quote from Dead of Night (1945)