196 Funny Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 8

Updated: Oct 30, 2025

A selection of funny quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

71 I can only work on fine, clear days. If I work in the rain, the water can be seen on my head and shoulders.

Claude Rains as Dr. Jack Griffin in The Invisible Man (1933)

72 No! Your thoughts are wrong.

Bruce Lee as Li Tsung in Longstreet

73 Listen. It's a tough universe. There's all sorts of people and things trying to do you, kill you, rip you off, everything. If you're going to survive out there, you've really gotta know where your towel is.

David Dixon as Ford Prefect in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

74 My left arm's disappeared. How am I going to operate my digital watch now?

Simon Jones as Arthur Dent in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

75 Oh, no, that's just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the universe has that. -Everyone? -Everyone.

Richard Evelyn Vernon as Slartibartfast in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

76 'Failure.' F-a-i-l-u-r-e. 'Failure.' I did it, I did it!

Peter Robbins as Charlie Brown in A Boy Named Charlie Brown

77 This is not a toy. You only throw a shuriken against another human being in self-defense.

Lee Van Cleef as John Peter McAllister in The Master (1984)

78 Amazing! Behind that impeccable white suit beats a heart... of recyclable plastic!

Ernest Borgnine as Dominic Santini in Airwolf (1984)

79 How's about investing in condominiums? It's safe. -Condominiums? -Yeah, condominiums. -I never use them.

Sylvester Stallone as Rocky Balboa in Rocky II

80 A job. -A job? Well, why come to me? -'Cause you're the only crooks I know.

Burt Lancaster as Steve Thompson; Dan Duryea as Slim Dundee in Criss Cross (1949)

196 Funny Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 8

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