Joan Rivers Movie Quotes & Lines – 20 Classics (+ Audio)

Updated: May 12, 2025

Find and rate the best quotes by Joan Rivers, selected from famous or less known movies, as rated by our community, featuring short sound clips in MP3 and WAV formats.

1 That was my Virgin Alarm. It's programmed to go off before you do.

As Dot Matrix in Spaceballs

2 Not in here, mister. This is a Mercedes.

As Dot Matrix in Spaceballs

3 What's going on? -It's either the Fourth of July, or someone's trying to kill us!

As Dot Matrix in Spaceballs

4 That was pretty good for Rambo!

As Dot Matrix in Spaceballs

5 My frog turned on me. -Yeah, I had some bad tuna myself.

As Miss Piggy in The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)

6 Do you think I'm pretty? -Of course you are. You're more than pretty. -Gorgeous? -Don't push it, Pig.

As Miss Piggy in The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)

7 Hey, wait! You forgot to get married!

As Dot Matrix in Spaceballs

8 Besides, he's got a sexy voice. He might be cute.

As Dot Matrix in Spaceballs

9 Cheekbones. That's what you need, Piggy. I mean, your face is a little round, no offense. I'm gonna give you a complete makeup job, okay?

In The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)

10 You know what you need? You need eyebrows. -Pigs don't have eyebrows. -Well, this pig is going to! And so is this.

As Miss Piggy in The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984)

Joan Rivers Movie Quotes & Lines – 20 Classics (+ Audio)

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