The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy Quotes with Sound Clips

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

The funniest lines and quotes from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy 1981 TV Series, with sound clips.

Actors: Simon Jones (Arthur Dent), David Dixon (Ford Prefect), David Learner (Marvin the Paranoid Android), Peter Jones (The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Book), Sandra Dickinson (Trillian Astra), Mark Wing-Davey (Zaphod Beeblebrox), David Tate (Eddie the Computer), Martin Benson (Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz), Richard Evelyn Vernon (Slartibartfast), Valentine Dyall (Deep Thought)

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I mean, we've got to find out what people want from fire. You know, how they relate to it, the image... -Stick it up your nose. -Which is precisely the kind of thing we need to know, I mean, do people want fire that can be fitted nasally?

I'm trying to teach the cavemen to play Scrabble. It's uphill work. The only word they know is 'uh', and they don't know how to spell it. -What's the point in that? -We've got to make them evolve.

I've been doing fjords all my life. For a fleeting moment, they become fashionable, I get a major award.

It doesn't matter a pair of foetid dingo's kidneys what you do from now on. Burn down the forests, anything. It won't make a scrap of difference.

It's the people you meet in this job who really get you down. The best conversation I had was over 34 million years ago. -Oh, dear! -And that was with a coffee machine.

It's the weird color scheme that freaks me. Every time you try to operate one of these weird black controls that's labelled in black on a black background, a small black light lights up black to let you know you've done it.

Life. Don't talk to me about life. -No one even mentioned it to you.

Listen, you semi-evolved simian, will you crowbar this into your cranium?