137 Absurdity Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 9

Updated: Oct 23, 2025

A selection of absurdity quotes with sound bites from famous or less known movies, as rated by our visitors, accompanied by short MP3 or WAV audio samples.

81 This is my associate, Slobber Job. He doesn't think. He's been trained in macramé, bonsai, origami, and he's nearly housebroken.

Lorenzo Music as Garfield in Garfield's Feline Fantasies

82 But then as he was a monk and I was a girl, it wouldn't look good traveling together. So then he said I should go in the coffin.

Quote from The Legendary Strike (1978)

83 It is written that only a princess can appease the volcano. Check that. That only a princess and her cat can appease the volcano.

Lorenzo Music as Garfield in Garfield in Paradise

84 We gotta get the money. Right now I'd do anything for money. I'd kill somebody for money. I'd kill you for money. Oh, no, you're my friend. I kill you for nothin'.

Chico Marx as Chico in The Cocoanuts (1929)

85 Go upstairs and count the rooms. I think the third floor is missing.

Groucho Marx as Mr. Hammer in The Cocoanuts (1929)

86 Senor Pastrami, what is the first number? -Number one.

Chico Marx as Chico in The Cocoanuts (1929)

87 There's a man outside who wants to see you with a black mustache. -Tell him I've got one.

Groucho Marx as Mr. Hammer in The Cocoanuts (1929)

88 It can't be easy teaching pigeons to tap dance. -It's taken me 17 years.

Lorenzo Music as Garfield in Garfield Goes Hollywood

89 She's under arrest, Mr. Brown. -What's the charge? -Homicide! -That's ridiculous, she wouldn't kill a fly. -She tried to kill herself.

Cornel Wilde as Leonard Diamond; Richard Conte as Mr. Brown in The Big Combo (1955)

90 Can you help us get out of here? -Well, we could build a fire. Yeah, like in Pinocchio. -Nah, too much excess stomach acid.

Tim Conner as Vince Pig in Claymation Easter (1992)

137 Absurdity Quotes from Movies (+ Sound Clips) - page 9

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