Almost Heroes (1998) Quotes with Sound Clips

Almost Heroes (1998)

Funny quotes from the movie Almost Heroes (1998), featuring short sound clips of the best lines.

Actors: Chris Farley (Bartholomew Hunt), Matthew Perry (Leslie Edwards), Eugene Levy (Guy Fontenot), David Packer (Bidwell), Kevin Dunn (Hidalgo), Hamilton Camp (Pratt)

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Now you see me as I truly am, senor: just a bald fat man begging for your mercy.

Yes, I shall refrain as well. I've made a solemn promise to someone. -Really? -Yes, I promised my doctor I wouldn't engage in that sort of thing.

I seen a bear so powerful that it snapped a man's body in half with its huge jaws.

Faster, man, faster! But not too fast! As much haste as possible while maintaining a tolerable level of comfort.

I believe those pigs would prefer their privacy.

I hope Satan himself burns the flesh from your miserable bones!

I'm not afraid. My mind will protect me. I'm a man of science, a man of learning, a man who knows how to buy the finest books.

My nose itches. -Don't scratch it. -Feels like there's a bug up in there. -Wait.

Not at all. Look at you. Thin wrists. Skin like a baby. Almost a total absence of shoulders.

Rest assured, in 20 years or so, the ravages of old age will deal with the bear far more cruelly than we ever could have.

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