Monty Python's Life of Brian Quotes with Sound Clips

Monty Python's Life of Brian

Check out some of the funniest quotes from Monty Python's Life of Brian, featuring soundbites and sfx. All the audio clips are in WAV and MP3 formats.

Actors: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

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Capricorn, eh? What are they like? -He's the Son of God. Our Messiah. King of the Jews!

For the last 18 years, I've wanted to shout and sing and scream my name out! Oh, I'm alive! Hava nagila, hava nagila, hava nagila!

He has a wife, you know? You know what she's called? She's called Incontinentia... Incontinentia Buttocks.

I'm Brian, and so's my wife!

I'm not a Roman, Mum! And I never will be! I'm a kike, a Yid, a hebe, a hooknose! I'm kosher, Mum! I'm a Red Sea pedestrian, and proud of it!

I'm not Jewish. I'm a Roman. -A Woman? -No, no. Roman.

Let me explain! Your son is a born leader. Those people out there are following him because they believe in him. They believe he can give them hope hope of a new life, a new world, a better future!

Listen, if you wanted to join the P.F.J., you'd have to really hate the Romans. -I do. -Oh, yeah? How much? -A lot. -Right. You're in.

Next? Crucifixion? -Yes. -Good. Out of the door, line on the left, one cross each.

Provided the movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man... -Or woman. -To rid himself. -Or herself. -Agreed. -Thank you, brother. -Or sister. -Or sister. -Where was I? -I think you finished. -Oh, right.

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