Monty Python's Life of Brian Quotes with Sound Clips

Monty Python's Life of Brian

Check out some of the funniest quotes from Monty Python's Life of Brian, featuring soundbites and sfx. All the audio clips are in WAV and MP3 formats.

Actors: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

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Citizens, we have Samson the Sadducee Strangler, Silus the Assyrian Assassin, Several seditious scribes from Caesarea.

Get a move on, Big Nose. There's people waitin' to be crucified out here.

Guard, do we have any cwucifixions today? -139, sir. -Special celebration. Passover, sir. -Right. Now we have 140. Nice, round number, eh, Biggus?

Hail Messiah! -I'm not the Messiah. -I say you are, Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.

Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! The little rascal has spirit. -Has what, sir? -Spiwit. -Yes, he did, sir. -No, no. Spiwit, bwavado, a touch of dewwingdo. -Oh, uh, about 11, sir.

I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I'm not the Messiah! Do you understand? Honestly!

If questioned, we are sewage workers on our way to a conference.

Larks' tongues. Otters' noses. Ocelot spleens. -Got any nuts? -Haven't got any nuts. Sorry. I've got wrens' livers, badger spleens. -No, no, no. -Otters' noses?

Larks' tongues. Wren's livers. Chaffinch brains. Jaguars' earlobes. Wolf's nipple chips. Get 'em while they're hot. They're lovely. Dromedary pretzels, only half a denar. Tuscany fried bats.

Lord, I am affected by a bald patch.

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