Monty Python's Life of Brian Quotes with Sound Clips

Monty Python's Life of Brian

Check out some of the funniest quotes from Monty Python's Life of Brian, featuring soundbites and sfx. All the audio clips are in WAV and MP3 formats.

Actors: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

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Then he, having his way with me, he had... Vroom, like a rat out of an aqueduct! -The bastard!

Those possessed by devils, try and keep them under control a bit.

Well, if it's not a personal question, are you a virgin? -If it's not a personal question? How much more personal can you get? Now, piss off! -She is. Yeah, definitely.

Well, if that's how you treat your poor old mother in the autumn years of her life, all I can say is, go ahead, be crucified! See if I care. I might have known...

You don't have to do this. You don't have to take orders. -I like orders.

All right. Bag of otters' noses, then. -Make it two. -Two. -Thanks, Reg.

And the bezan shall be huge and black... And the eyes thereof red with the blood of living creatures!

But you can't have babies. -Don't you oppress me. -I'm not oppressing you. You haven't got a womb. Where is the fetus gonna gestate? You're gonna keep it in a box?

Centuwion, why do they titter so? -Just some Jewish joke, sir.

Have I got a big nose, Mum? -Oh, stop thinking about sex. -I wasn't! -You're always on about it, morning, noon and night. Will the girls like this? Will the girls like that? Is it too big? Is it too small?

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