Monty Python's Life of Brian Quotes with Sound Clips

Monty Python's Life of Brian

Check out some of the funniest quotes from Monty Python's Life of Brian, featuring soundbites and sfx. All the audio clips are in WAV and MP3 formats.

Actors: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Terry Gilliam, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

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He was a centurion in the Jerusalem garrison, sir. -Really? What was his name? -Naughtius Maximus.

No, it is a sign that, like him, we must think not of the things of the body, but of the face and head.

Now take my case. They hung me up here five years ago. Every night, they take me down for 20 minutes, then they hang me up again, which I regard as very fair in view of what I've done.

Now, what is your name, Jew? -Brian, sir. -Bwian, eh? -No, no. Brian.

Oh yeah, if we didn't have crucifixion, this country'd be in a right bloody mess.

Silence! This man commands a cwack legion! He wanks as high as any in Wome.

Sir, we don't have a Roger, sir. -What? We don't have anyone of that name, sir. -Ah. We have no Woger.

Slipped him a few shekels? You saw him spit in my face.

Terrific race, the Romans. Terrific!

The demon shall bear a ninebladed sword. Ninebladed not two or five or seven, but nine which he will wield on all wretched sinners, just like you, sir, there.

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