Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid Quotes with Sound Clips

Quotes from the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, featuring sound bites of the best lines.

Actors: Steve Martin (Rigby Reardon), Rachel Ward (Juliet Forrest), Carl Reiner (Field Marshal Wilfried von Kluck)

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1 A half-bottle of bourbon later I still couldn't believe it.

— Rigby Reardon (Steve Martin)

2 Have these men ever told you that your eyes are like two Chinese coins with dollops of caviar in the center?

— Rigby Reardon (Steve Martin)

3 Poor rummy. How did he get it? -Fell out of a window reaching for a bottle of whisky.

— Rigby Reardon (Steve Martin), Juliet Forrest (Rachel Ward)

4 I was wearing a special perfume called 'Fondle Me'. Its aroma drew Neff to me like fat to a mother-in-law.

— Rigby Reardon (Steve Martin)

5 No dice, Doll-face. You're a client. That's one thing I've learned about clients. Dead ones don't pay their bills.

— Rigby Reardon (Steve Martin)

6 She took direction like a pig takes to garbage.

— Rigby Reardon (Steve Martin)

7 With her I'd had the most honest relationship I'd ever had with a woman. The only thing I'd lied about was my name. I'd told her I was Teddy Novak, so she couldn't track me down if I got her pregnant.

— Rigby Reardon (Steve Martin)

8 Don't go near my daughter again. Don't try to see her. Don't write her and don't phone her. -Can I use her underwear to make soup?

— Rigby Reardon (Steve Martin)

9 All dames are alike. They reach down your throat, so they can grab your heart and pull it out, they throw it on the floor and they step on it with their high heels.

— Rigby Reardon (Steve Martin)

10 Are you drunk? How many have you had? -One martini. I knew I was gonna see you.

— Rigby Reardon (Steve Martin)

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