The Jerk Quotes with Sound Clips - page 3

The Jerk movie poster

Funny and inspirational quotes from The Jerk (1979), with short sound clips.

Actors: Steve Martin (Navin R. Johnson), Bernadette Peters (Marie Kimble Johnson)

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21 I will need two pieces of identification. -Ah, yes. I have my temporary driver's license. and my Astronaut Application form.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

22 I'll put a bed down here, get a bigger bulb. I'll bring some sheets from the house. You'll be set for life.
23 No, I can't make out the license number, but it'll be pulling a small church. So, any blue Chevy pulling a small church, I figure that'd be the one. Yeah. Uh-huh.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

24 Oh, my God. I'm endangering your life. Cover me. -You're covered.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

25 Oh, no thanks, I don't smoke. What kind of cigarette is that? -A joint. -Joint? They don't make 'em very good.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

26 Remember how you told me to take unnecessary lessons? Well, I just took a lesson.

— Marie Kimble Johnson (Bernadette Peters)

27 We'll keep the eggplants out. -Ah, good. We don't want any vegetables. -No, no. The jungle bunnies. -Of course. They'll eat the vegetables.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

28 What were they? -Couple of dozen roses. -Look like daisy stems. -What? That guy gypped me. He put daisy stems on my roses.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin), Marie Kimble Johnson (Bernadette Peters)

29 Would monsieur care for another bottle of the Chateau Latour? -Ah, yes, but no more 1966. Let's splurge. Bring us some fresh wine. The freshest you've got. This year's. No more of this old stuff. -Oui, monsieur.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

30 You have taken in $15, and given away 50 cents' worth of crap. Which gives us a net profit of $14.50.

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