211 Funny Quotes About Family from Movies (+ Audio Clips) - page 19

Updated: Jan 11, 2026

A collection of funny quotes about family from movies, complete with audio samples in mp3 & wav formats — great for ringtones or laughs.

181 Is it a big family? -No, it wasn't. Besides me, there were just the usual two people necessary to increase the population.

Van Heflin as Sam Masterson in The Strange Love of Martha Ivers (1946)

182 Say it ain't so. Say I'm seeing a vision! -Well, look at him. Married and working... what a combo. A good man gone wrong.

Humphrey Bogart as Andrew Morton in Knock on Any Door (1949)

183 Do you have kids? -No. -You want mine?

Tom Hanks as Sam Baldwin in Sleepless in Seattle

184 I work and slave for you, and do I get any thanks for it? No, I don't. What do I get? A demolition derby in my living room.

Thom Huge as Jon Arbuckle in Garfield on the Town

185 Oh, your brother's in jail? -But my brother is not a criminal. He only works in there.

Quote from The Deadly Breaking Sword (1979)

186 How 'bout the mortgage? How's about it? -Mortgage? What mortgage? -Oh, can't pay it, eh? Then you'll have to let me marry your beautiful daughter.

Daws Butler as Snagglepuss in Snagglepuss (1961)

187 I believe it. -You believe what? -My wife. She says, Darling, you won't believe it, but I found the most adorable baby on our doorstep and I've decided to keep it for our very own. Now, you won't believe it, but it's got exactly my eyes and nose.

William Holden as J.J. Sefton in Stalag 17 (1953)

188 You forget that I am married and that the one charm of marriage is that it makes a life of deception absolutely necessary to both parties.

George Sanders as Lord Henry Wotton in The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945)

189 Marriage itself is merely a habit, a very bad habit. I trust it won't make you a hopelessly reformed character.

George Sanders as Lord Henry Wotton in The Picture of Dorian Gray (1945)

190 I'll be right back, Sam. -Sure, that's what my ex-wife said.

Lorenzo Music as Garfield in Garfield's Babes and Bullets (1989)