The Honeymooners (1955)

The Honeymooners (1955) poster

The funniest lines and quotes from The Honeymooners (1955) TV Series, with sound clips.

Actors: Jackie Gleason (Ralph Kramden), Audrey Meadows (Alice Kramden), Art Carney (Ed Norton)

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31 I know all I need to know about playing golf. It's a game they play with 18 holes. I been working in the sewers for ten years. If that don't qualify me as an expert on holes, I give up.
32 I thought I was gonna kill myself laughing, watching her run away from that snake. Oh-oh. -How could you see me run? You were way ahead of me.
33 It's my nature to spend. Except I never have anything to spend.
34 My career is stuffing jelly into doughnuts.
35 Oh, boy. Best lawyer in town. He specializes in those cases where a landlord threatens to throw out a tenant. If I only knew how to get ahold of him. -Don't you know his office number? -I knew his old number. He was evicted last week.
36 Oh, it'll be a vacation, huh? Working for some boss will be a vacation, huh? Well, I'm calling your bluff. Go ahead and get a job!
37 Say, look at how well he did that! -Oh! He was a good chalker for the first time. -Yeah!
38 So what? So what if I got in a little trouble? I was a millionaire for a couple of days. That's more than anybody else in this dump can say.
39 That set goes over my dead body! -I couldn't get it out over your dead body. What do you think I am, a mountain climber?
40 The doctor gave him something to help his sleepwalking. -Yeah? What'd they give him, a pair of roller skates?
 
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