The Honeymooners (1955)

The Honeymooners (1955) poster

The funniest lines and quotes from The Honeymooners (1955) TV Series, with sound clips.

Actors: Jackie Gleason (Ralph Kramden), Audrey Meadows (Alice Kramden), Art Carney (Ed Norton)

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71 Oh, I suppose getting a night's sleep is gonna fix everything up fine. Sure, I'll go down there tomorrow and they'll say, 'Did you get a good night's sleep?' And I'll say 'Sure.' They'll say, 'Well, that's fine, let's call off the investigation.'
72 Please don't touch me, nurse, I'm sterile.
73 Remember during the war? That expression, 'a slip of the lip will sink a ship'? I never sank one.
74 Sleepwalking isn't caused by nervousness. How would I know? I happen to be a bus driver. And if nervousness caused sleepwalking, I'd be going through Australia right now!
75 So, don't go envying Trixie. She's got electric stoves, she's got television sets, she's got washing machines. You've got financial security. Just remember that.
76 That's the fourth maid this week. -The fourth? I only remember three. -Oh, you didn't see one of them. She didn't even put on a uniform. She just walked in the bedroom, saw a mop, got scared and ran out of here.
77 That's why I don't like to fight too much. I usually hurt someone real bad. Sometimes I even hurt myself.
78 Then the depression came. I got a job with the W.P.A., shoveling snow to eat. That's how I met Alice: she used to hand out the shovels.
79 This is a maid? I thought maids had short skirts with white hats and black silk stockings.
80 Tonight, I am watching a movie, and if you dare to make a sound while the movie is on, I'll cut off your air supply!
 
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