Almost Heroes (1998) Quotes with Sound Clips

Funny quotes from the movie Almost Heroes (1998), featuring short sound clips of the best lines.

Actors: Chris Farley (Bartholomew Hunt), Matthew Perry (Leslie Edwards), Eugene Levy (Guy Fontenot)

3 more actors

, David Packer (Bidwell), Kevin Dunn (Hidalgo), Hamilton Camp (Pratt)

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1 Now you see me as I truly am, senor: just a bald fat man begging for your mercy.

2 Yes, I shall refrain as well. I've made a solemn promise to someone. -Really? -Yes, I promised my doctor I wouldn't engage in that sort of thing.

— Leslie Edwards (Matthew Perry)

3 I seen a bear so powerful that it snapped a man's body in half with its huge jaws.

— Bartholomew Hunt (Chris Farley)

4 Faster, man, faster! But not too fast! As much haste as possible while maintaining a tolerable level of comfort.

— Leslie Edwards (Matthew Perry)

5 I hope Satan himself burns the flesh from your miserable bones!

6 I'm not afraid. My mind will protect me. I'm a man of science, a man of learning, a man who knows how to buy the finest books.

— Leslie Edwards (Matthew Perry)

7 My nose itches. -Don't scratch it. -Feels like there's a bug up in there. -Wait.

— Bartholomew Hunt (Chris Farley), Bidwell (David Packer)

8 Not at all. Look at you. Thin wrists. Skin like a baby. Almost a total absence of shoulders.

9 Rest assured, in 20 years or so, the ravages of old age will deal with the bear far more cruelly than we ever could have.

— Leslie Edwards (Matthew Perry)

10 Yes, this mission will be a treacherous one, make no mistake. We will face danger from savages and from bears.

— Leslie Edwards (Matthew Perry)

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