Movie-Sounds.org > Comedy Movie Quotes > Monty Python's The Meaning of Life

But if they'd let me wear one of those little rubber things on the end of my cock, we wouldn't be in the mess we are now.

6 seconds sound clip from the Monty Python's The Meaning of Life movie soundboard.

You can hear this line at 00:26:31.097 in the Blu-ray version of the movie.

Quote context

[...]

- Now, Vincent, Tessa, Valerie, Janine, Martha, Andrew, Thomas, Walter, Pat, Linda, Michael, Evadne, Alice, Dominique and Sasha, it's your bedtime. Now don't argue! Laura, Alfred, Nigel, Annie, Simon...

- Wait. I've got something to tell the whole family.

- Oh, quick. Go and get the others in, Gordon.

- The mill's closed. There's no more work. We're destitute. Come in, my little loves. I've got no option but to sell you all, for scientific experiments.

- No, no, that's the way it is, my loves. Blame the Catholic Church, for not letting me wear one of those little rubber things.

- Oh, they've done some wonderful things in their time. They've preserved the might and majesty, even mystery of the Church of Rome, and the sanctity of the sacrament, the indivisible oneness of the Trinity...

- But if they'd let me wear one of those little rubber things on the end of my cock, we wouldn't be in the mess we are now.

- Couldn't Mummy have worn some sort of pessary?

- Not if we're going to remain members of the fastest-growing religion in the world, my boy.

- He's right.

- You see, we believe... Well, let me put it like this.

- There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists, there are Hindus and Mormons and then there are those that follow Mohammed, but I've never been one of them.

- I'm a Roman Catholic and have been since before I was born. And the one thing they say about Catholics is they'll take you as soon as you're warm.

- You don't have to be a six-footer. You don't have to have a great brain. You don't have to have any clothes on. You're a Catholic the moment Dad came.

[...]

Top rated lines from this movie

Shut up! Shut up, you American. You always talk, you Americans. You talk and you talk and you say, 'Let me tell you something' and 'I just wanna say this.'
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Oh! I never knew Schopenhauer was a philosopher. -Oh, yeah. He's the one that begins with an 'S.' -Oh.
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A tiger? -A tiger? -A tiger in Africa? -Hmm? -A tiger in Africa? -Ah, well, it's probably escaped from a zoo. -Doesn't sound very likely to me.
Monty Python's The Meaning of Life Sound Clip

Monty Python's The Meaning of Life poster

Check out some of the funniest quotes from Monty Python's The Meaning of Life, featuring soundbites and sfx. All the audio clips are in WAV and MP3 formats.

Actors: Graham Chapman, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Jones, Michael Palin

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