The Jerk Quotes with Sound Clips

Funny and inspirational quotes from The Jerk (1979), with short sound clips.

Actors: Steve Martin (Navin R. Johnson), Bernadette Peters (Marie Kimble Johnson)

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1 Why are you crying? And why are you wearing that old dress? -Because I just heard a song on the radio that reminded me of the way we were. -What was it? -The Way We Were.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin), Marie Kimble Johnson (Bernadette Peters)

2 It was never easy for me. I was born a poor black child.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

3 Frosty, my boss, told me there's a big future in weight guessing.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

4 Hey, guess what? You are our eighth customer today. You won a free oven mitt. Hah! I'll go get it for you.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

5 The first day seemed like a week. And the second day seemed like five days. And the third day seemed like a week again.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

6 Do you ever think we'll get to know each other well enough to kiss? -We don't have to. You're my man. It's like we're married.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

7 Do you think it's possible that some day you could make love with me and think of him? -Who knows? Maybe you and he can make love and you could think of me.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin), Marie Kimble Johnson (Bernadette Peters)

8 We're not gonna lose the stuff. This is America! We're gonna receive a fair trial from an impartial jury.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

9 You wanna come in and sing some blues? -No, thanks. There's something' about those songs, they depress me.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

10 You'd think at a fancy restaurant like this, at these prices, you would be able to keep the snails off the food! There're so many snails in there, you can't even see the food!

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

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