The Jerk Quotes with Sound Clips - page 6

The Jerk movie poster

Funny and inspirational quotes from The Jerk (1979), with short sound clips.

Actors: Steve Martin (Navin R. Johnson), Bernadette Peters (Marie Kimble Johnson)

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51 Hey, you're really trying to be accurate.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

52 I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit. I've never been relaxed enough around anyone to be able to say that. You give me confidence in myself.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

53 I've got one! I've got a special purpose! -You do? -Yes, it's fantastic! It's great! It's unbelievable! And I was afraid to tell you about it! Your mother's gonna love me!

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

54 My key is for customers who buy gas. -Oh! I'm buying gas. -I don't see no car. -I just need enough for my lighter.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

55 Really? A cosmetologist? That's unbelievable. That's impressive. It must be tough to handle the weightlessness.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

56 This is no big deal. It's a parking ticket to me. Only instead of five dollars, it's ten million!

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

57 You're not carnival personnel!
58 And that's all I need, too. I don't need one other thing! Not one... I need this. The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control and the matches, for sure!

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

59 And this. That's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control and this paddle game, and this magazine and the chair.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

60 Anything else? -Yeah. We'll take that money you got in your pocket. -Oh, sure. I'll just put it on the card.

— Navin R. Johnson (Steve Martin)

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