204 Funny Quotes About Money from Movies (+ Audio Clips) - page 13

Updated: Feb 2, 2026

A collection of funny quotes about money from movies, complete with audio samples in mp3 & wav formats — great for ringtones or laughs.

121 He's a very good doctor, that Dr...? What's his name? Well, I don't know his name, but did you hear what he did for Callahan, the plumber? -No, what'd he do? -He kept Callahan alive until his wife caught up on the insurance payments.

Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden in The Honeymooners (1955)

122 Two Gs. -Two Gs! -That's $2000? -You got it.

Humphrey Bogart as Alfred "Gloves" Donahue in All Through the Night (1942)

123 Well, what did he say? -Well, not a lot. He's spending a year dead for tax reasons. -Oh, yeah? Neat!

David Dixon as Ford Prefect in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

124 I never knew I had so many faults. I never felt so completely miserable. -Wait until you get my bill.

Peter Robbins as Charlie Brown; Pamelyn Ferdin as Lucy Van Pelt in A Boy Named Charlie Brown

125 You have taken in $15, and given away 50 cents' worth of crap. Which gives us a net profit of $14.50.

Steve Martin as Navin R. Johnson in The Jerk

126 I'll be back in a flash with the cash.

Mel Welles as Gravis Mushnick in The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

127 The amount of money that you spend on a present should be in direct proportion to the amount of affection that you have for that person.

Stephen Shea as Linus Van Pelt in Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown

128 No, my friends. No, money will never make you happy, and happy will never make you money.

Groucho Marx as Mr. Hammer in The Cocoanuts (1929)

129 Is there an inexpensive doctor in the house?

Daws Butler as Snagglepuss in Snagglepuss (1961)

130 Heavens to bank-balance. Ten thousand dollars. Bucks, even.

Daws Butler as Snagglepuss in Snagglepuss (1961)