65 Movie Quotes about Masturbation (+ Sound Clips)

Updated: Sep 1, 2025

Memorable quotes about masturbation, selected from famous or less known movies and other sources by Movie-Sounds.org's visitors, accompanied by short mp3 and wav audio samples.

1 You know, sometimes when I'm alone, I relate to myself.

Eddie Murphy as Grandma Klump in The Nutty Professor (1996)

2 Get out of here! If I ever catch you whackin' in here again, I'm gonna hog-tie you!

Mike Judge as Tom Anderson in Beavis and Butt-Head Do America

3 If you are feeling quiggly, why not just have a J. Arthur?

Mike Myers as Austin Powers in Austin Powers in Goldmember

4 What, Billy No-Mates?

Michael Caine as Nigel Powers in Austin Powers in Goldmember

5 I'm just like a little boy, playing with his _ when he's nervous.

Robert Downey Jr. as Kirk Lazarus in Tropic Thunder (2008)

6 It's all in the wrists.

Jeff Bridges as Kevin Flynn in TRON (1982)

7 Housekeeping. You want me jerk you off?

David Spade as Richard in Tommy Boy (1995)

8 Favorite non-pornographic magazine to masturbate to. -Good Housekeeping.

Quote from Step Brothers (2008)

9 How are your wrists? Are they real strong?

Quote from 36th Chamber of Shaolin

10 You have left the wrist room? -Yes, I passed all the tests there, the teacher said.